• Uterus: oh you have a completely full day of activity??
  • Me: don't
  • Uterus: and a sleepover afterwards??
  • Me:
  • Uterus: hardly any breaks??
  • Me:
  • Uterus: wouldn't it be a shame
  • Uterus: if something were to
  • Me:
  • Uterus: happen
  • commandersheena:

    israfel070:

    modestdemidov:

    "make up is false advertisement!"

    translation:

    "i view women as products"

    If you went on a few dates with a charming, fit-looking guy, decided to invite him upstairs, and after he took off his shirt he unstrapped a hidden girdle and his massive gelatinous kegbelly rippled forth, you would be pissed too.

    did you really just compare a woman putting some powder on her face to a guy literally reshaping his entire body

    taylorswift:

    youareinloves:

    taylor swift is like that aunt that tries to be “hip” with the young’ns and “with the times” and then asks you what does bae stand for and after you tell her she starts calling everything bae even the lamp next to the couch

    HEY YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAMP NEXT TO MY COUCH AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT IS, IN FACT, VERY MUCH BAE.

  • Sherlock: YOU FAKED YOUR DEATH?
  • Moriarty: YEAH
  • Sherlock: DUDE ME TOO
  • Moriarty: OH MY GOD
  • *HIGH FIVE*
  • *Theme music plays*
  • troyes-lip-ring:

    oh-troye:

    planet-troyler:

    oh-troye:

    i’m just gonna…..you know……leave this here…..

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT

    IM JUST SLAYIN THE FRAMES ALMOST MATCH PERFECTLY THERES JUST A TINY PART CUT OUT

    OH MY GOD

    dutchster:
    sarahhconnollyy:

Oh my frickle frackle

    renfamous:

    British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

    American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

    373

    patricksilverrose:

    sh4nked:

    balenaproductions:

    alexandertheswell:

    I LOVE SHARKS!!!!!!!!

    I lost it at 0:21

    almost peed at 0:37

    0:12 KILLED ME